At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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