I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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