Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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