he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
