she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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