listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize