Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't deserve a penis
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
