yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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