Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
