The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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