So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize