It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
