Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
