So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
