found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
