Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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