Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize