Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
