Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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