(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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