JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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