the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i out mim tonsoeep
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