And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
