we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
