It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
