Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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