So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
