I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
