Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
