My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
