I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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