I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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