after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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