I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
