My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
