You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have fence marks all over my body
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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