Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
