ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm way too hungover for life right now
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
