yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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