she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize