he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
