Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
