Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
