dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
