dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize