Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
