I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
