He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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