I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night