i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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