found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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