I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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