Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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