do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
