i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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