my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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